We decided to put my sweet dog Tootsie Roll to sleep after she got very sick. She stopped eating or drinking water four days ago. I tried making her bacon, putting peanut butter on a spoon and offering cheese. But, she didn't have an appetite and would turn her head. Those who knew her know this is not like her.
Her tail was drooping, her breathing labored and she would cry at night. A couple nights Carlos slept in the kitchen holding her to comfort her. We had to keep her there because she was vomiting a lot.
We took her to the vet and then onto the ER. They gave her the equivalent of canine morphine for her pain and and IV of fluids and an x-ray. That x-ray showed she had a mass and they were hoping it would move or pass. But, it didn't an exploratory surgery would have been the next step to determine if it was cancer or something she ate. The vets couldn't give us very good odds.
Carlos and I thought that would not be fair to her. She was weak, 12 1/2 years old and wasn't herself. She hadn't wagged her tail in days and just could barely walk from whatever was in her stomach. But, selfishly I wanted just a little more time with her.
We opted to put her to sleep this morning so she didn't have to suffer anymore.
I said good-bye before I left for work and so did Landon. Then Carlos came and took her to the vet. He says he held her the entire time and long after she was gone. He said he told her we were sorry and that we loved her.
But, I like to believe she knew that already. Even when we didn't have as much time after Landon and then Ryker, she took whatever we would or could give her, and took it unconditionally.
Mom remembers when her jaw dropped because we would SPELL out the word "cookie"...which is what we called her dog biscuits and she came running to get one. Maybe the only dog out there that knows how to spell! ha!
Dad remembers taking long walks with her. She would go a few miles. But, when she was done she'd sit down and would NOT budge. So, dad would have to pick her up and carry her miles home! You'd think she wouldn't want to walk the next day...but you'd be wrong. She'd be crying by the door when it was time to go.
I remember buying her in El Paso in August of 1998 after I got my first prime time anchor job. I remember thinking NOW I can afford a dog and I "deserve" one. She went to Houston with me and then to Phoenix and has put up with to babies that have come to her house.
We don't know what the mass was in her stomach. It would have taken exploratory surgery and we simply didn't want to put her through that at her age because there were simply no guarantees.
We loved her so much and she'll always be a special dog to our family.
It was a very hard day for all of us. I turned to friends for Bible verses to carry me through the day and it worked to focus on God promises for peace. Landon is taking it just fine.
Carlos told him that "Tootsie went to heaven." She seemed shocked at the "speed" in which she got there and responded to that with "she's in heaven, ALREADY??" Silly boy is probably envisioning some sort of super dog powers that catapulted her into heaven.
Tootsie ...you're a good dog.
1 comment:
Stephanie.. I am so sorry. It makes me so sad that Tootsie is gone. I remember when u got her, and when Corrin called Tootsie the most hyperest dog in the world. She was probably Landon's age or a little older when she made that funny observation. haha.. that's how I remember your silly dog and the fact that she would sit on me.. or lick my feet even though my allergies where killing me and I'm not a Dog person. But I was a Toostie person.. I swear she is the only dog that I allowed to sit on me and watch TV with. Just thought I'd share my memories with u.
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